We have had many people asking us how to have the sort of difficult conversations around sex that we have been highlighting on the show, so today we're talking with Pejman Hoviatdoost about better sex communication. Pejman is a clinical psychologist whose job revolves around people having successful conversations with each other -- both about sex and about pretty much anything else you can think of.
Pejman and I agree that communication is the beginning of any sexual relationship, that better sex starts with better communication, and that better communication starts with yourself. So he and I talk about why it is so important not to make assumptions when speaking with your partner about sensitive subjects and the crucial difference between what we mean and what we say. We also talk about why self-awareness is so key to having healthy conversations with your loved ones and what we can do to cultivate our sense of self-awareness.
Dr. Pejman Hoviatdoost is an Iranian-Australian clinical psychologist in private practice working with adults with complex psychopathology. He specializes in Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) with more than seven years of training and experience in this model. On his Instagram account, he provides psychological education to his Iranian audience (in Farsi-Persian) and often speaks about sex and intimacy, and how cultural and historical barriers may impact perception and behavior surrounding sex.
Listen in as we discuss the disconnect between looking sexually provocative for someone else and having ownership of your sexuality and what to do if you've talked to your partner about sex and nothing changes.
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"What is it that's holding you back from the most intimate person in your life?" - Pejman Hoviatdoost
Show Notes:
- Practicing self-awareness
- How to broach the topic of sex with your partner
- How to have a successful conversation with your partner
- Respond rather than react
- Ways to improve communication with your partner
- Keeping the spark alive
- The pros and cons of familiarity in a relationship
- When to see a couples therapist
- Becoming a better communicator
"If there are needs in our lives that are not being met, maybe the first place to look is in the mirror." - Pejman Hoviatdoost
Links Mentioned:
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
- Connect with Pejman Hoviatdoost:
Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Pejman Hoviatdoost
The discussion continues over on social media follow TalkSex™ with Gabriela Rosa:
"Relationships have a degree of inherent conflict in them." - Pejman Hoviatdoost