One of the most frequently asked questions that I have gotten over the past few years — from women specifically — is how to masturbate. Today we're talking about the how, when, and why of it all with Paloma "Moma" De La Hoz. Paloma is a psychologist and coach who helps men and women explore how to connect to their bodies, emotions, and desires — both in and out of the bedroom.
It took me a long time to find the value and pleasure in masturbating, and I know I'm not alone. As we come into our sexuality in adulthood, many of us need to go through a sort of retraining, as so often in childhood we're taught to not even touch our own genitals. In this episode, Paloma and I talk about the cultural scripts that play a role in our ignorance and the work we have to put in to deconstruct those scripts in order to rebuild a healthy framework for self-love. We also talk about tips for setting the mood for masturbation and the five secrets for a great orgasm.
Paloma “MoMa” De La Hoz is a certified psychologist and relationship therapist who decided to devote her skills toward being a sex and love coach. She helps both men and women to reconnect with their sexuality, develop awareness, and transform their sex life consciously in order to develop healthy and deeply fulfilling relationships. Her School of Sexual Healing is an 8-week transformational program designed to help women take ownership of their pleasure.
Listen in to find out how to masturbate, what meditation has to do with masturbation, and the ethics of masturbating when you're in a committed relationship.
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"That's extra points when you can make sounds and not feel guilty." - Paloma De La Hoz
Show Notes:
- Reframing opinions on masturbation
- Tools for getting comfortable with self-sex
- Is it okay to masturbate when you're in a committed relationship
- The ethics of masturbation
- Setting the mood for masturbation
- Banishing self-judgment
- How to masturbate
- 5 secrets for a great orgasm
- Do you need lube to masturbate
- Is it safe to masturbate with coconut oil
- The argument for making noise during solo masturbation
- Masturbation warm-ups
"Women don't see self-pleasure as a priority." - Paloma De La Hoz
Links Mentioned:
- Masturbation enhancement list
- TalkSex Episode 5: Spicing Up Your Sex Life and Relationship with Bianca Farmakis
- TalkSex Episode 7: Music That Gets You in the Mood with ASTON and Pace Randolph
- Connect with Paloma De La Hoz:
YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | AwareMoma
The discussion continues over on social media follow TalkSex™ with Gabriela Rosa:
"Don't see the orgasm as the ultimate accomplishment." - Paloma De La Hoz